Simply Baffled!

Mr. Pitt heard about an event of which he was curious to learn more about. Two minutes later, I found and printed out an informational page about the event.

"My God! You got that off the machine? Dear me...it seems that everything travels through the air! You know, radio signals, voices...travel through the air......TV... Seems these computers........just so new to me..."

...and then he drifted off to sleep in his chair.

Should I Be Worried?

Mr. Pitt still crosses the street without stopping, looking, or listening (especially since he lost his hearing aids...ugh).

As we were crossing, I said, "Hey, whatever happened to looking both ways?"

That apparently freaked him out and he almost lost his balance, then said, "I guess I'm just becoming dependent on you for that."

So I said, "Yeah, a little too dependent, I think."

And he says, "Or, I guess...you could call it an addiction."


Uhhh. Creep much?

Under the Influence

Just now, I told Mr. Pitt I was going out to get ink for his printer. He asked if I would be coming back. I said that I would come back, print his documents, finish my work, and then leave for the day. He said okay.

When I got back, he was finishing his second tumbler of wine.

"You know, I was asleep, and I woke up and you were gone! And I said, 'where is she? Did she leave me?' I thought you left me for good!"

I told you where I was going, right?

"Yes, but I didn't know you would be back."

Oh...I thought I told you that.

"Well I think I understood...You told me you were going out to get shoes."

Nooo...

"And what I mean by shoes, of course...is coloring for the printer."

yeeeah...

Loco Logo

Since Mr. Pitt has been going to rehab, we decided he needed some tennis shoes. He found an ad in a magazine, and thought they were the greatest things and that he needed a pair of THESE shoes. After many days of trying to convince him that there were entire stores whose sole purpose was to sell shoes, he wasn't giving in, and "felt more comfortable" ordering these Gravity Defyer shoes online.


Here is a picture of the shoe(s) Mr. Pitt had me purchase for him:
Tell me: What do YOU see?

Tomato, Tomato: Zucchini, Zakooney

Around Christmas time, Mr. Pitt received three loaves of homemade bread from his cleaning lady. He offered to give me one of the three, which was super nice! We went to the fridge, and he pulls out the first one...

"Pumpkin...oh I love pumpkin"

He pulls out the second one...

"Banana chocolate chip...that sounds good"

He pulls out the third one...

"...oh, you can have this one...I've never heard of [Za-koo-ney] bread before."

I still haven't told him how to pronounce "Zucchini"

Note the Background Image

The most-used utensil in Mr. Pitt's kitchen is the corkscrew.

The Slowski's are so Boring!

Looking at a Geico Gecko advertisement in a magazine:

"You know, I want to get a painting of that guy. He's so much more interesting than that turtle that someone has on."

Late Night Shopping

Mr. Pitt's sleep schedule = Fall asleep after Glenn Beck at 5 pm. Wake up around 2 am. Have coffee and watch the only thing that is on TV at that hour: infomercials. This is no good because Mr. Pitt likes to spend money, and believes everything that he sees on TV. So far, he has purchased the following (non-inclusive, and this is only since I've known him):

• Automatic shoe shine/buffer combo (I have never seen it used)
• A hardwood floor steamer (Unopened, and returned a week after purchase...he has carpet in nearly his entire apartment)
• A miniature air dehumidifier (okay, he uses that all the time)
• 3 bottles of dehydrated pomegranate powder (??)
• 18 clothes dryer spikey balls which came with...
• 36 bottles of clothes dryer spikey ball solution (12 balls and 24 bottles of solution have since been returned)
• A "Backlife" back stretcher

Now, most of the stuff he uses is completely unnecessary and usually ends up unused and returned (via my taking it to the post office). The "Backlife" back stretcher may come in handy, however, considering he also has purchased an Ab Rocket. Considering his physical condition, if he ever decides he wants to get rock hard abs, he's going to need a good stretch.

Stop, Look, & Listen

Recently Mr. Pitt has put himself into the habit of crutching across the street, expecting cars to either A) Not be there, or B) Stop for him. So, I re-taught him how to cross a street using the "Stop, Look (both ways), and Listen" method. His best portion of this is the "Listen" part, which is scary because...what if he forgets to put in his hearing aids?

Obama vs. Beck

Mr. Pitt's Comcast is out (Internet, phone, and TV...).

Pointing at the TV, he says, "The computer...I mean the...the TV...well, I guess that's a computer, too... The TV machine is out"

I scope it out...sure enough the Computer TV Machine (AKA, Cable) isn't working.

"I get that all the time. I wonder if it's Obama's doing. He's probably trying to get back at Glen Beck."

Some of You Have Already Heard This.

A couple weeks ago, Mr. Pitt had a really crappy day in rehab. Usually he does exercises for a full hour, but he only made it through the first 15 minutes before he quit.

The next time I saw him that week, he told me he knew why he did so badly.

"Before rehab on Tuesday, I had eaten those Altoids."
How many did you have?
"Oh, the whole tin. It messed up my stomach a bit."
Wow, that's really not good for you, that's a lot of sugar!
"Well I didn't think they were bad for me because they don't have any sugar in them. It doesn't say so on the front of the tin"
You have to look at the back of the tin...where the ingredients are listed.
"I'll be darned..."

...And that's not the first time Mr. Pitt has eaten an entire tin of Altoids in one sitting.

Ya think?

"I'll tell you what, if I do ever have to go to a nursing home, I'm sure as hell going to want one with a bathroom."

Nine Months Too Late

After working with Mr. Pitt for almost 9 months, I'm finally starting a blog of his comments, ideas, suggestions, requests, habits, mannerisms, and anything else about him that is absurd. There's a lot. I'll do my best to catch everyone up on past stories, and I should have new things to add almost daily. I hope you enjoy peeking into the life and mind of Mr. Pitt!